What is conflict resolution?

There are two types of conflicts, particularly during any kind of change. The first we’ll call direct conflict. This is when it is clear there is a difference of opinion, including:

• Your perception of the situation is at odds with another person’s
• Your point of view is at odds with someone else’s
• Your needs are at odds with another party’s.

The second type of conflict involves situations where bad feelings develop over time and create a barrier to relationships and productivity. We call this latent conflict. This kind of conflict can result from a number of causes, such as one person not handling the initial situation well right away, a lack of skills on the part of one or more people in addressing the situation, or even the difficult personality of one or more people involved.

High Performance Coaching and Training specialises in leadership and performance development through training and coaching. When working with our clients we have noticed a common trend of just avoiding the conflict. Some of the causes for avoiding resolution are that the conflict is:

• Too risky – you believe there is too much political risk to address it. A poorly handled conflict could result in fallout that will damage a project, a task, or even your career.
• Unpleasant – it is just too hard.
• Too personal – you may think that the issue is not work related.
• Difficult to control – you do not have confidence you can control yourself. Or maybe the other party has a history of being explosive and you think you don’t have the skills to manage the situation.

So here are some tips in handling conflict with your peers.

Perfect Phrases for Conflict with Peers

The most successful people in business are those who can rally their peers around their cause. Whether you are working in a matrixed global organisation or a small local business, your peers can make or break your success. They include anyone in your network, inside or out of your company, who can help you get work done.

It is good practice to think of your peers as external or internal customers.

Here are some perfect phrases for unresolved difference of opinions.

• Thank you for taking the time to discuss _______________ with me in further detail.
• I appreciate having the opportunity to further explore ________________ with you.
• It seems that we have two strong, but opposing points of view on ______________.
• I know this topic is important to both of us. I am glad we can take the time to resolve our differences.
• The way I see it, the objective of this meeting is to see if we can come to a mutually agreeable decision. Do you agree?
• We know why we are meeting, and _______________ is the main topic. Is there anything else we need to discuss related to this?
• We seem to have different or conflicting objectives based on our roles in the organisation. I think we need to discuss what are the criteria for a decision; we can both agree to before debating more ideas. This will enable us to spend our energy on coming up with a solution, rather than arguing about positions.
• I would like to come to an agreement because _________________, do you agree?

I hope you have found this article useful and if High Performance Coaching and Training can assist you in your professional development than just give us a call.

 

War does not determine who is right – only who is left. — Bertrand Russell

Lee Stemm – PCC

Leadership and Performance Coach / Training

www.highperformancecoachingandtraining.com.au

 

Defining Delegation

Once the decisions have been made, it’s time to get to work. But you can’t do it all yourself. And if you think you can you’re wrong. In fact, doing it all yourself can burn you out, dull your decision making skills, and make you the weak link in the team’s drive for success.

You need to delegate! But just what is delegation?

Delegation is sharing the load. It’s about communicating the vision for success, setting clear direction, and then assigning responsibilities based on the project needs and your employees’ abilities.

Whether you’re the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, a small business owner or a homemaker, you can put delegation to work for you. Smart CEOs delegate the operation of the business to their vice presidents, and expect them to do the same with their managers, and so on. Successful small-business owners may work more hands on than a corporate CEO, but they also know how to spread responsibilities among their team. And balanced homemakers know how to get the family in on the act of managing the household.

It really doesn’t matter what size organisation you are with, or if you’re with an organisation at all: when it’s time to get the work done, it’s time to delegate.

We are conducting a Decision making and delegation workshop on the 16th June – more details please go to our website -

www.highperformancecoachingandtraining.com.au

take care

lee stemm

Gaining Commitment through Leadership
Leadership is creating an environment in which people want to be part of the organization and not just work for the organization. Leadership creates an environment that makes people want to, rather than have to, do. It is a business imperative to create that environment. I am obligated to create an environment where people feel part of something, feel fulfilled, and have purpose. It is purpose – it is getting the maximum from them, and are giving the maximum to the person. Anything less is irresponsible to the organization and demands more handling by the individual.
When you see people only as fulfilling a function, you’re treating them like a think, like the chair you’re sitting on. I don’t think we as humans can assume the right to do that. None of us want to be just something standing in a corner. We found the greatest satisfaction for an employee is to feel part of something and to feel trusted to make decisions and to contribute.
Vision on a personal scale translates into path finding in an organizational setting. Whereas individually you identify what you see to be significant, now your challenge and role is to create a shared view of what is important, of what matters most. Consider for a moment the following questions you might ask about your employees:
1. Do people clearly understand the organizational goals?
2. Are they committed?
Helping people clearly understand and get committed to significant goals requires you to involve them in decision making. Together you determine the destination of the organization (vision and mission). Then everybody in the organization will have ownership in the path that leads to the destination (values and strategic plan).
In determining together what is most important to an organization or team, you need to come to grips with the realities you face. Once you understand them, you work until a shared vision and value system are embodied in some kind of mission statement and strategic plan.
Before you can gain commitment from others you need to demonstrate self-discipline. Self-discipline is an essential quality of an authentic leader. Without it, you cannot gain the respect of your followers. It is easy to say that someone has good values but lacks the discipline to convert those values into consistent actions. This is a hollow excuse. None of us is perfect, of course, but authentic leadership must have the self discipline to do everything they can to demonstrate their values through their actions. When we fall short, it is equally important to admit our mistakes.
Leaders who are open with people, even when sharing bad news or offering critical feedback, establish that sense of connection that builds commitment. Trust is built and sustained in the depths of these relationships, and commitment is strengthened so that any obstacle can be overcome. When pressures mount, relationships build on connectedness actually grow.

Leaders are always being examined under the microscope. Their behaviors are observed, discussed, and dissected by their employees as well as by a myriad of outsiders. To be authentic, leaders must behave with consistency and self discipline, not letting stress get in the way of their judgment. They must learn to handle any kind of pressure and stay cool and calm. Handling unexpected challenges requires being in peak condition. They need consistent habits to keep their minds sharp and their bodies in shape.
A number of vital keys are important in gaining commitment. Here are five valuable points.
1. Gaining commitment from others is no longer considered a right or obligation. As many leaders painfully learn, you can’t buy commitment from others no matter how much you pay them. Commitment is a building process and it is earned by a leader who appreciates and values it!

2. The enemy of commitment is silence and exclusiveness demonstrated by the leader. Building commitment means open and honest communication. A wise leader understands that most individuals have a natural resistance to change and are suspicious of any idea or concept forced upon them. Commitment is enhanced when the need for change is clearly and patiently expressed and when the followers’ input is respected as part of the entire change process.

3. A friend of commitment is involvement. People feel a greater sense of commitment when they are involved in the decision-making process. Many leaders fear this because they are afraid that others may offer other options or challenge their own thinking. Experienced leaders don’t fear seeking the involvement of followers because they understand the deepened level of commitment far outweighs the potential of a compromised decision. They know that even the most sound and brilliant decision will fail without the commitment of others.

4. Ask for the commitment of others. This can be done by vividly articulating a clear vision, and personally requesting their solid commitment. Don’t take the support of other workers for granted! Let them know how important they are and how vital their commitment is to achieve success. Often times a personal plea will make a big difference in gaining the deep commitment of others.

5. Set an individual example by demonstrating your own level of commitment. Show others that you are willing to do what you ask of them. Commitment is easily eroded by leaders who think they are “above” and beyond” the tasks expected of others. In contrast, leaders who will roll up their sleeves and occasionally share some lower tasks with others win the respect and admiration of followers. By doing this you state to the follower that you value what they do and appreciate their valuable contribution to the organization.

In conclusion, commitment and involving others in the entire decision-making environment is a modern bond. Use open and honest communication to express the need and reasons for change. Deeply involve the followers to help determine how the change should occur. In exchange for their inclusion, ask for commitment as their promise of dedication and support.

Commitment is founded on trust, respect and a common vision.

I hope you have found this information helpful and interesting.

Lee Stemm – Leadership and Performance Coach / Trainer

High Performance Coaching and Training

People who behave like “think-they-know-it-all” are driven by the need to get appreciation. When they feel slighted in any way, they’ve likely to try harder than ever to attract attention. Think-They-Know-It-Alls push their way into conversations where they may not be wanted.

Your goal with dealing with this type of person is to catch them in their act and give their bad ideas the hook. You’ll be most successful if you can avoid putting them on the defensive. Here’s an action plan for bringing out the best in Think-They-Know-It-Alls.

Give them a little attention – There are two ways to give them attention. The first is to backtrack on his or her comments with enthusiasm. This lets the person know that you’re paying attention.  (and it puts these types on the receiving end of their own foolishness). The second is to acknowledge the positive intent, without wasting your time on his or her information: you’re giving positive attention without necessarily agreeing with his or her remarks.

Clarify for specifics:   If the person doesn’t know what he or she is talking about and you do, this should be easy. Ask some revealing questions about the specifics of his or her information. Since this person normally speak in huge generalisations, pay special attention to words like ‘everybody’ and ‘always’.

Tell it like it is: Carefully redirect the conversation back to reality. Use “I” language to keep your remarks as non-threatening as possible. To add irrefutable evidence, you can document your facts as you go.

Give them a break. At this point, it has become clear that they don’t know what they are talking about. Resist the temptation to embarrass the person. Instead, give them or her a way out, minimizing the chance that they will go on the defensive. They are not as attached to their ideas as the Know-it-alls. If you give them a way to go along with you, chances are they’ll be ready to jump into your bandwagon.

Break the cycle: Once people believe someone is just a Think-they-know-it-all, they may stop giving that person any recognition at all, even when he or she deserves it. But that increases their behaviour even more. “Break the cycle” means be ready to give credit where credit is due. Notice what this problem person is doing right and praise them for it. For some people, this attention will be all that’s necessary to get the problem behaviour to subside. With others, use a gentle confrontation to tell them the truth about the consequences of their negative behaviour.

Adjust your attitude:

1. Don’t burst their bubble: When you challenge them directly, their only way out is to counterattack with ever grander claims. And their conviction could sway others who don’t know any better.
2. Don’t be too quick to judge: We’ve all defended ideas that we didn’t necessary believe to be true.
3. Don’t be tempted to stretch the truth in the other direction: You could end up losing your creditability! Restrain the urge to ‘show up’ them. Move beyond their petty interruptions.

I hope you have found this information informative.

Lee Stemm – Leadership and Performance Coach / Trainer

www.highperformancecoachingandtraining.com.au

Tips on “how to keep your meeting on track”

Meetings strengthen your position as the team’s leader. They strengthen the team too. Sometimes the only time employees exist as a ‘team’ and not a collection of individuals is when they meet together. Meetings can create commitment and help people understand their joint aims and how their own roles fit in and contribute.

Meetings can help the group revise, update and add to what it knows and does, developing a pool of shared knowledge. They’re also a great way to keep people informed, harvest their ideas, and discuss problems and plan ways to resolve them.

But if you run meetings poorly or call them unnecessarily, they will waste time, slow down decisions and damage morale.

One of my coaching clients recently asked me the question of “how can I keep the conversation from wandering off track”. So here are some tips to assist you in maintaining control during your meeting:

1. Ask a question: Where do we go from here? What is the solution? What are our options? What are our objectives?
2. Refer people back to the agenda item
3. Redefine the problem
4. Summarise progress
5. Write the agenda item under discussion on a flip chart and summarise contributions, decisions and so on underneath
6. Take a short break

Ensure that you end the meeting on time, clarifying what will happen next and who is responsible for any items needing action. Check that all decisions and action items have been recorded and confirm you will distribute them to participants.

I hope you have found these tips useful – and best of luck in keeping your meetings effective and on track

Lee Stemm – Leadership and Performance Coach

www.highperformancecoachingandtraining.com.au

Career Coaching – Lost your motivation –perhaps it is time to change!

It’s a beginning of a whole New Year and out comes the New Year’s resolutions – yet again. How often have you heard of someone saying “I am going to …………….., this year and I am going to stick to it?” I hear this from a lot of people and after a few weeks or even days this idea has been abandoned, and they revert back to their old ways.

 I have a really good close friend and she is excellent in your role within her professional life, however the organisation has not looked at a learning and development culture. Instead they are extremely tasked and systems focused; completely overlooking the importance of their people’s values and contributions within the organisation.

I have spoken to her several times around her disappointment and lack of motivation within her role and the conversation lead to her questioning whether it is time to move on or not.  Here are some points that I explained to her and it may be of interest to you as well.

Firstly you need to be able to stop, reflect and take stock on where you are in your life. What are your career anchors? There was a silent pause from her –“career anchors what you mean?” I replied that a career anchor is a set of talents, motives, values and attitudes which give stability and direction to a career – it is the ‘motivator’ or ‘driver’ for you.

That when you know your  perceived areas of competence, motives, and values, your professional work choices can bring back that motivation and spark into your career. Often, people select a career for all the wrong reasons, and find their responses to the workplace are incompatible with their true values. This situation results in feelings of unrest and discontent and in lost productivity.

The conversation then progressed onto the ‘fear of change’; and the many excuses that she puts forward to justify her remaining unhappy in her career. Some of these excuses were – “I hate what I am doing, but what I would love to do doesn’t pay enough”, or “I hate what I am doing, but I don’t want to start from the bottom again”, or “I don’t really know what I want”. These are only a few, however you know what excuses you make to justify remaining in an unhappy work role.

So we sat down together and I asked her some important questions; which were:

1. Do a pro’s and con’s list with your current job. What are you satisfied about within your career, and what you are un-satisfied about within your caree?
2. Exploring the culture of your current employer – How does this affect you within your professional and personal life?
3. Outline your goals – do you want more money, more flexibility, more time off, career progression- write these down.
4. Make a plan to move on – ensure that your financial needs are being meet and outline the steps for your career transaction.
5. Identifying the direction you would like to take your career is an extremely important item.

After this conversation my friend seemed a bit more motivated and gained a small view of what she can do and work towards. Now it is time for her to put things into action and remain focused on her goals and aspirations. When people are able to engage in work that is meaningful and where they are ‘in-flow’, they can be more productive, focused and energic. Being happy at work also has flow-on benefits in enriching your relationships.

High Performance coaching and training have an extensive career coaching program  that leads candidates through a six step program. Career coaching and development  program can be desired her in-house career progression or a exit program. We will design it specifically for your requirements using the effective six step system that supports you through this process.

For further information go to our website : www.highperformancecoachingandtraining.com.au to our coaching programs menu on our home page.

If you have any questions – please email or give our office a call – 1300 661 453 and we will provide you with some solutions and recommendations.

Take care

Lee stemm

Welcome to our blog – 10 Unwanted Behaviours – focusing on the Know-It- All

In our previous blogs we spoke about the tank, the sniper and now it is time to explore the Know-it-all. Please remember that once you have a strong awareness in these types of behaviours; then solutions will come to assist you. As they say first you must understand, before being understood.

So here it is ……….The Know-it- All

This kind of behaviour is people who are knowledgeable and extremely competent people, highly assertive and outspoken in their viewpoints. Their intent is to get it done in the way that they have determined is best, so they can be very controlling, with a low tolerance for correction and contradictions. Know-It-Alls perceive new ideas as challenges to their authority and knowledge and will rise to those challenges. They will do anything to avoid humiliation.

Your goal with the Know-It-All is to open his or her mind to new information and ideas. But as we’ve seen, this isn’t easy. With Know-It-All’s, it’s next to impossible to get your two cents in.

Be prepared and know your staff.  If there are any flaws in your thinking, Know-it-alls radar will pick up on those short comings and use them to discredit your whole idea. In order to get a Know-it-all to consider your alternative, you must clearly think through your information beforehand and be ready to present it clearly and concisely.

Backtrack respectfully. Be forewarned. You’ll have to do more back tracking with the Know-it-all than with other difficult behaviours. They must feel that you have thoroughly understood the brilliance of their point of view before you’ll be able to redirect them to another point of view.

It’s not enough to simply backtrack; your whole demeanour must be one of respect and sincerity. You want to look and sound like the Know-it-all’s views in fact the correct one.

Blend with their doubts and desires.   If the Know-it-all really believes in an idea, it is because of specific criteria that make that idea important to him or her. You will find it helpful to blend with those criteria, if you know them, by acknowledging them before you present your idea. Then show how your idea takes those factors into account.

Present your views indirectly. When the time has come to redirect the Know-it-all to your position, use softening words like ‘maybe’, ‘perhaps’, and ‘bear with me a moment’ to sound hypothetical and indirect, rather than determined or challenging. Try questions rather than statements and ‘we’ rather than ‘I’.

Turn them into mentors. By letting the Know-it-all know that you recognise an expert and are willing to learn, you become less of a threat. This way, the Know-it-all spends more time instructing you than obstructing you. It is entirely possible that, with time, the Know-it-all may be more willing to listen to you, as well.

Here are three important points to remember:

1. Don’t use the Know-it-all’s weapons: resist the temptation of becoming a know-it-all yourself. It will only serve to entrench the know-it-all more firmly.
2. Don’t resent the Know-it-all: it’s not in the Know-it-all’s nature to get a second opinion. Resentments will only lead to an argument, which is pointless.
3. Don’t force your ideas on the Know-it-all. Train yourself to be flexible, patient, and very clever about how your present your ideas.

I hope you have found this information useful. High Performance coaching and Training run conflict resolution coaching and training programs. We also do event speaking on these types of topics for your next conference or meeting.  For further information please go to our website:

www.highperformancecoachingandtraining.com.au

Thank you

Lee Stemm – PCC – Leadership and Performance Coach and Trainer

Clarifying Performance Expectations

Successful organisations have some kind of performance management system in place that will expect a certain standard of performance from their team members. In some cases you may be on a 3- 6 month performance review period which helps you keep on track with expectations from the organisation.

A common factor with successful organisations is that they maintain profits whilst maintaining a culture that involves learning and development.  When you have a culture of learning and development you will maintain a high morale.

Team members need to know what expectations are required by their managers; and the roles that they execute within the organisation.  Managers also need to know what expectations are required for them to lead each team member effectively.

Critical Components of Clear Performance Expectations

The process that results in employees who clearly understand and execute their performance expectations contains these components:

• A company strategic planning process that defines overall direction and objectives.
• A communication strategy that tells every employee where their job and needed outcomes fit within the bigger company strategy.
• A process for goal setting, evaluation, feedback, and accountability that lets employees know how they are going. This process must provide opportunities for continuing employee professional and personal development.
• Overall organizational support for the importance of clear performance expectations communicated through cultural expectations, executive planning and communication, managerial responsibility and accountability, rewards and recognition, and company stories (folklore) about heroic accomplishments that define the workplace.

Communication of Clear Performance Expectations

Communication of clear performance expectations starts with the planning process of leaders.

 How they communicate these plans and goals to the organization is critical to create an organization alignment; when all components are connected and pulling in the same direction. Leaders must clearly communicate the expectations for the team’s performance and expected outcomes to align each area of the organization with the overall mission and vision.

At the same time, leadership needs to define the culture and the behaviours of teamwork desired within the company. Whether a department team or a product, process, or project team, team members have to understand why the team was created and the outcomes the organization expects from the team.

Remember the difference between a boss and a leader; a boss says “Go!” – A leader says “Let’s go!”

I hope you have you have found this information useful.

We  specialise in leadership and performance training – to see our upcoming courses go to our website

www.highperformancecoachingandtraining.com.au

take care

Lee Stemm PCC – Leadership and Performance coach and trainer

 

What are your thoughts on this quote:

The ultimate measure of man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

I remember reading an article around leadership and it also mentioned at the test of true character is when crisis happens.  I think that leadership is easy to understand however hard at times to keep consistency due to our own emotions based on our beliefs, values and behaviour. This is a reason  why ’emotional intelligence ’ is important as if you don’t recognise the behaviours that are un-supportive for you and others; then it is hard to embrace change.

Lee Stemm PCC – Leadership and Performance Coach and Trainer

1. Career Coaching – Salary Negotiation

The fundamental principles of salary negotiation need to be taken into consideration when negotiating a salary package. It is very important not to enter into salary negotiations too soon in a selection process. Wait until you are provided with a formal job offer before you start negotiating the terms and conditions of your package.

If you are asked questions about salary expectations by the interviewer or manager; you can avoid answering them with responses such as:

1. At this stage I would prefer to understand more about the exact requirements of the role before I enter into any discussions around salary.
2. My previous salary has no bearing on this particular role as we are discussing a different set of responsibilities.
3. I believe it is too soon for us to discuss salary at this point in time. I would prefer to address that further in the process once I am more aware of the extent of the challenges in this role.

If you find it difficult to not answer this question and you are finding that the person is becoming irritable you could respond with something like:

1. You have quoted a salary in the range of $70 – $90K package. Given my industry experience and proven track record, my expectations are that my salary be at the top end of this range.

The Steps in a salary negotiation are as follows:

• Preparation – Well prepared research will assist you in this stage to ensure you enter salary negotiations being extremely well prepared. What is your personal branding? How will you sell yourself?
• Goal List – What are all of the things you would like to have as your salary package or conditions of employment if it was an ideal world?
• What are the expectations of the employer – Think about what the employer is going to want as an outcome of the salary negotiation. What do you think their agenda will be?
• Research and Prepare again – investigate benchmarked salary information. Check out recruitment agencies to see if they have this information.
• What information have you already provided – What do they know about your personal situation – your previous salary history, your financial obligations, needs, desires and priorities?

I hope you have found this article informative. High Performance Coaching and Training have a new innovative career coaching program available to assist the candidate in finding a new career or internal promotion. Just give our office a call for the course outline and to organise a meeting  to discuss further.

www.highperformancecoachingandtraining.com.au  or 1300 661 453  – High Performance Coaching and Training

Take Care

Lee Stemm – Leadership and Performance Coach and Trainer